photogamer: Eyes

I feel so silly "complaining" about my day... or even my life. But to be perfectly honest: I had a really tough day.

I'm the one who's happy... who is strong... who can hold herself together no matter what goes on... who can live through complete chaos & insanity, coming out ¿sane?... who sees rainbows in storms... who reminds folks that God is good, all the time.
Which just makes it harder for me when I'm not totally feeling it, and no one really cares, notices, knows, or has the time to figure it out. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that any or all of the above fit anyone in particular. In fact, I'm probably just rambling.

I'm not big on just diving into what's swimming in my head... never have been too good at, 'bam! here it is' Even with the best of confidence I find myself having to work into it... Maybe it's because I don't want to drag anyone down with me... who might not be at a place where they can keep their head above water with my added weight....

I miss having people around who know me, can see that I'm not 100%, and will just let me be around them through it.

I just need some sincere distraction... and maybe, if I feel comfortable enough, and the company wants to know... I'll share the junk

ugh, this has gone no where. pooey!

I started it out with a slow start... and an interview for an actual full-time position within the hospital. The interview went longer than I'd expected, but you can't rush these things too much now, can you!? Then I was off to PTown again, for more comp training (this time it was Star: the patient interface used throughout the hospital)
Meanwhile, on my way to the interview, I'd realized my cell was 100% dead. No battery. Nada! So I ran by the Taylor's to nab up Andy's spare/switch them out. He was actually there, but on the phone with his girl's mom... anywho (rabbit trails) I switched batteries, and promptly noticed that his spare was just as dead as my pila so... yeah. nevermind. I flew right back out the door, and straight out of town.

I pulled up at the outlet mall to nab up a couple pair of Vans (Liz picked up 2 for $15 and I was bound and determined to find the same deal, for kicks and use in the ER possibly, as one pair was perfectly black!) I reached over to my passenger seat for my purse: empty! Yup. No purse... I had left it on the floor in the room I'd interviewed in (way to assure a sense of organization, huh!?)

Now. I'm 62 miles from home. No driver's license, no identification, no cash, no credit/debit card, no checkbook, no cellphone... no food... no camera!

I walked in, mostly defeated, explained my situation... in complete desperation, almost tears. They assured me they could put a couple pairs on hold for me, as I'd be back again tomorrow.
I found two pairs, just like Liz's, in my size/s. w00t-esque.

My mind was completely brain-storming/problem solving for survival. Praise God I had enough gas to assure myself the trip back home and I have my work ID that doubles as a direct debit from my paycheck at Providence cafeterias, so food was covered as well!
I trekked more toward Gresham and drove up a main drag, praying for a USBank, and some mercy/grace to be found within its doors. I found one. Walked in. Explained my situation, and said that I could offer up all sorts of information, as well as noting the fact that I have a pretty distinct name... so!?
The girl went through plenty of personal info/inquiry to make me feel pretty safe about her handing me cash from my account sans ID. So yeah, I pulled out enough to make myself feel a smidge more "safe", especially since I'm still running around without a cell.

As I arrived at the Portland Providence locale, I soon notice it's barely 10 blocks from Hans' house. Since I still had time to spare, I drove over and... well, woke him up and used his phone to locate my purse. There's something assuring about knowing that it's really where you're pretty sure you left it, and that it's now not just sitting there, unbeknownst to others... yeah, after a mess of phone extensions, and someone even going in to find it and not seeing it... it was found (it had been discovered and tucked away by someone who had called me, not that I knew that!)

ok. so I take my first session of class, understandably excel (I've been working in the system for a month now, while everyone else is still new and plunking...) and get let out a bit earlier than expected. I fly, hoping to miss rush-hour traffic, and go to stop by the outlets so that I don't have to tomorrow night (when I have to be back in time for worship practice.)
As I'm waiting for the line to dwindle, so i can retrieve my set aside items... Britny waves/flags me down. Yup, girl is shoe shopping with mom and little sisters. In the end, she also got the same set of shoes as Liz & myself (we can be foot triplets!)

Oyg, ok, then I drive home... (oh yeah, through all of this, my sweet ipod integration system has decided to be dumb and now won't load up, nor shut down, so I'm back to the jimmy-rigged ipod system in my car, but at least I still have my tunes!) stopping by the hospital to get my purse *happy cheer* yay! And figured I ought to check my messages while I'm there.

And guess what!?

Yup, I got the job!

*singing/screaming* "we're miniature rockstars!"

ugh!

So apparently I'm stressed, more than I'd truly believed... in the end, between recent events/revelations & some financial discoveries, it's not all that surprising. Still. Annoyance completo: I got a migraine!

My one free, ready to catch-up afternoon/day... I'm 112% immobilized with sheering pain, blurred vision, and rancid nausea!

looking forward to the "day after" seemingly hung-over effect on my first 12hr shift... only furthers the stress of it all!