photogamer: Eyes

I feel so silly "complaining" about my day... or even my life. But to be perfectly honest: I had a really tough day.

I'm the one who's happy... who is strong... who can hold herself together no matter what goes on... who can live through complete chaos & insanity, coming out ¿sane?... who sees rainbows in storms... who reminds folks that God is good, all the time.
Which just makes it harder for me when I'm not totally feeling it, and no one really cares, notices, knows, or has the time to figure it out. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that any or all of the above fit anyone in particular. In fact, I'm probably just rambling.

I'm not big on just diving into what's swimming in my head... never have been too good at, 'bam! here it is' Even with the best of confidence I find myself having to work into it... Maybe it's because I don't want to drag anyone down with me... who might not be at a place where they can keep their head above water with my added weight....

I miss having people around who know me, can see that I'm not 100%, and will just let me be around them through it.

I just need some sincere distraction... and maybe, if I feel comfortable enough, and the company wants to know... I'll share the junk

ugh, this has gone no where. pooey!

yup, that's right, I've called him. panic sets in, my stomach turns knots, thinking he'll surely be intrigued by the random number on his display, and call it back - even if for mere kicks & giggles. Does he know I work there? duh. it's not that hard to figure out if he really wanted to. does he want to? will I inevitably answer if/when he calls back? will he immediately recognize my voice? will I recognize his?

goes to show you what 3 & a half years can do to the brain!

there aren't even words to really envelop all that this Creation/vacation has been for me...

looking forward to more, taking simple glances back at all I'm leaving behind... it's good, real good. God is good, all the time!