This morning, Steve spoke about community (part 2) and particularly about consumerism, it's definition, and the effect it has on our ability to truly experience community. As all this is going down, I begin to re-quesiton the decision to put satellite tv in the place. So I sit back, and simply say, 'you know what's best God. if you want it to happen... it'll all work out, but if you don't it won't and I'll know that's Your Hand.'
Friends came over for lunch, and fun times, and to not leave me here alone with who knows whom might be showing up to do this install. In the midst of our Scrabble game, he finally arrived. Much to my dismay and bewilderment, he didn't do a whole lot to actually put effort into even trying to make it work. He just walked around, ignoring my input, brushing me off, and basically disagreeing with anything I said... even saying I was telling him untruth! The long & the short of it, I had the listen to him tell me how he knows, just by looking, what will or won't work: no signal reader to confirm to the consumer, and no attempts to try anything outside of his insisted option (place the dish in the most visible, awkward, and un-ok with the landlords place!)
All this run-around, and then he drove off. *shaking head in disbelief* Now I'm left to walk back into my house, and try to explain to the crowd that he's not doing it, why, and how unhelpful he was, and how not ok I was treated. It might have been nice to have someone, particularly a man, witness the mistreatment... speak up, and at least attempt to get somewhere with the stubborn man... but they were too distracted by their own afternoon enjoyment to think of doing such a thing. *shrug* Such is life.
Now I'm honestly struggling with the 'why' with God. After the incident the other night, I've been convinced that my whole reasoning for going this route is the dvr (pause, record, and watch whenever capabilites) and my mindless self-care time... good tv is good for me, not the stuff I might find on the random times I'm home and available to watch it. *growl*
I wonder if the man had put forth the effort, tried anything I had suggested or asked... or even anything other then the one thing I stated repeatedly was not an option! I wonder if then, still not properly functioning, I would be able to sit back and go, 'Ok God... it's all good.' I'm struggling, because I don't think options were exhausted. Am I really that stubborn myself? Or is it my God given ability/need to fully reslove things before defeat? I don't just take 'no' for an answer, and I don't know that I whole-heartedly believe that that's a bad thing!
Maybe I don't need to see The Biggest Loser, The Amazing Race, Extreme MakeOver: Home Edition, ER, The Gilmore Girls, Degrassi: The Next Generation, and such... Maybe I need to dive into the pile of great books before me, my writing, my crochet (although I usually do that with the tv on in the background... for focus factor), furthering communication with folks when they least expect it (in new ways?) Maybe I can diversify some of the cost that would be involved... and put it into the iTunes version downloading? *thoughts* Maybe there are alternatives to all of this? Maybe I just need to sit back and let God do His thing, enjoying the Ride!?
