losing it.
Liz & I, after vast other discussion[s] briefly touched on weight, eating, mindfulness, and all that jazz... It made me think back on the amazing change of mind that God gave me, enabling me to get where I am today. Now, mind you, I'm still a ways away from where I want & need to be. But it's all a process, and each step is a conquered battle!
It all started when I went (begrudgingly) on that 40 day fast. Through that experience; laying down my wants, He altered my mindset! I look at food so differently. I can sit back and enjoy it, but it does not rule me wholey.
there's more where that came from...
The next step is some actual discipline, which I thoroughly got into once I was relieved of my duties at Helping Hands. Without work wearing me down (physically 7 mentally) every day, I began a routine that fed my active (not to mention social) needs... although now I need to expand and find other options that fit with a possible work schedule.
A commercial for the new season of The Biggest Loser just came on... I fell in love with that show, and was often inspired by each episode & its effect on the lives of the contestants. I've continued to keep up with The Biggest Loser emails, watching them reveal amazing changes in thier lives, and continuing to inspire so many people to really work towards a better 'me'. Can't wait to meet new contestants, and watch them unfold before us... driving me further in my own pursuit.
Now, there are a kajillion shows concerning weight loss & such some I've seen, some not so much (as I only have RabbitEar-Reception.) I prefer those where people put in the work, truly make a 'heart'change about the whole attitude/process. When 'medical miracles' & 'crash diets' are involved I'm put off... as that is not the reality of the lives we all lead. True life impact can only happen when a decision is made, and something is newly ingrained into a mentality... "rules" get broken & can be controlling; it's harder to recoup from rebellion or guilt.
...enough already!


scribbled by
manky @ 21:11:51

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just as I find myself holding back tears at the fact that my grapes 'disappeared' from the tiny office fridge (in a matter of 40hs)... "Small Enough" plays randomly on my iPod *must pause in order to type this properly*
there's more where that came from...


scribbled by
manky @ 10:36:00

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just got paid...
it works, it really works! woo hoo, just when I thought I was down & out, I got 3 of my PayPerPost payments at PayPal. Now, since I have a paypal debit/credit card, I've been able to 'treat' myself & others on a whim.
there's more where that came from...
- got salad at Andrew's for Andy's party
- girl essentials, 'cause I needed 'em
- a nice, semi-distracting, evening/meal out with a gal-pal who needed it!
that's all... so far, but my plans superceed my abilities at this point. If I could rake in some serious dough, I want to upgrade to a digital SLR. (but shush... don't tell anyone, it's a secret!)
all this paid for by the wonder of blog advertising!
...enough already!


scribbled by
manky @ 7:15:09

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