despite the regular occurance, I'm still somewhat shocked & left in hanging jaw mode when God throws loads of gunk on you... only to properly peel it off and then heap it right back on again... sometimes your own gunk, sometimes not your own, but gunky gunk none-the-less!
I feel like I've spent the greater part of my "down time" these last many weeks, dealing with stuff *growl*
learning things
walking others through the process
*stomach churns*
yeah *big sigh* not so much fun.
yet today, even though it was probably one of the most intensely hurtful & pained of all the situations... due to the fact that the ringer has been in full force, and through it all God has rung True; I actually was able to keep most of my head about me.
as opposed to my usual assumptive mode of "I'm poo! no one dares care for me!" I was actually able to somewhat quickly assess the entirety and prayerfully realize/hopefully assume less 'fault' of the perpetrators... and find the learning lesson for us all. in fact, I was able to glean from my own experience enough to hopefully share better insight to an outsider as well!
I know all this is greatly ambiguous... names & specific circumstances omitted for the protection of the otherwise innocent... but I pray that the lesson can ring through:
God is awesome!
He creates/orchestrates/allows/fosters many things that seems impossible/impassable, for the mere sake of these priceless life lessons.
*singing* "and so what we have learned..." in summary
- forgiveness can occur... yet pain/hurt may still persevere, and we have to be aware of that, sensitive at least. inner wounds don't just disappear, yet they don't give us the flaming reminders that smashed toes do (I can accidentally step on your toe, leaving it purple and bleeding, you know I'm sorry & in turn forgive me... yet the pain still persists, and the toes needs to heal! yet when we hurt someone emotionally, we can be sorry... ask forgiveness, and actually get it... but the hurt can very well still be there, needing it's proper healing time & care! without the obvious reminders...)
- if you are willing to be the 'guinea pig' of sorts, God can use your tendency to react or be affected by other's actions... to teach such lessons, instill others on to bigger and better things, and create accountability around you
- God says things much clearer than I do... if I want to get the actual learning opportunity across, it takes major prayer on my part pre-confrontation/approach
that said, I pray even just a sliver of all this transfers in the read. blessings!
