I don't talk about "guys"... whom I might "like"... or even other peoples "love-lives"...
I stick to a pretty standard, "don't even go there" policy when it comes to all of the above, with exception of the latter. If someone wants to start the conversation with me, make mention of possibilities, or even ask for advice/input, I'm not about to shut them down. That's their prerogative, and I'm actually honored to be allowed into that part of their mind. But don't ask me to go there, no way no how!
I'm still at quite a loss as to way this policy came into being... it's sort of like a rule in Mau; you don't really know it's there, or even been made, until it's necessary to implement it.
I'm guessing that a huge part of it is my own lack of self-esteem in the whole issue. Hello?! an almost 27 year old who's never had an actual 'relationship' to speak of... kinda hard not to take it to heart/personally. I've never even had the opportunity to turn someone down... how whack is that, that I would even consider such a situation a positive!?
Mostly I find that what I long for more than anything is someone who makes me want to be more than I already am... someone, who without knowing it causes me to really step back and re-evaluate myself, assuring that as much I can be is what he's getting; the full deal.
Is it too much to ask that I induce the same response?
ftr: monogamy is a decision... a mere injection proves nothing to me regarding his actual intent to abstain! in fact, I'd always be second guessing if it were really his choice, or some kookie robot effect from the drug!?
