Dang it! She got the fun ones, and I'm stuck with the ones I actually own!

• "Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh Master." - Sue Lin Chong, Washington

• "His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free." & "Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

• "From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and 'Jeopardy'
  comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30." - Roy Ashley,
  Washington

• "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." - unknown

• "The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease." - Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

• "The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can." - Wayne Goode, Madison, AL

• "Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut." - Sandra Hull, Arlington

• "Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do." - Jerry Pannullo, Kensington

• "The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. & "The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while." - Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

• "'Oh, Jason, take me!' she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night." - Bonnie Speary Devore, Gaithersburg

• "Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." - Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

• "She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up." - Susan Reese, Arlington

• "It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before." - Marian Carlsson, Lexington

• "The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant." & "Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."- Jennifer Hart, Arlington

• "The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM." - Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse

• "The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium." - unknown

• "She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword." - Tom Witte, Gaithersburg

• "He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.", "She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.", "It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.", & "It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools." - Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

• This makes me all metaphorically minded... so I go to leave a comment for Britt, and out pops one of my own!: "*jumps for joy, like an old school Toyota commercial*"